i found myself in wonderland

fake tans make my head hurt. no sratch that, fake anything makes my head head hurt.. i feel like i'm in a dream and can't wake up. i'm so tired of it all. my brain's exhausted.. i wish we lived in a world with almost no fear.. my jumbled up thoughts are becoming more jumbled up by the moment, i feel like there's no use speaking., it won't change. so i'll remain silent.. and melt .. and watch life go by as lifeless as it possibly can be. i don't know if i can remain following the casual normal lifestyle any longer, not when i've seen the something else, not when i know there's more than what i'm seeing
not when i have felt things i've never thought i would
it's not in the pages for me. but i'm too naive to be confident, therefore being too shy to take a stand, not to mention too young to do anything completely on my own, and too small to make a difference.
If i believed in myself more, i could do anything.
but i don't, so this is where i'm stuck. in time, in this place that remains unreal, with me as the only one seemingly lost and bewildered, except no one can see. no one can notice, but me.

i feel like maybe i've sucked up all the feelings in part of the world by accident. i'm about to burst, when can i give some back to all of you unemotional people..or people who just live for just one feeling, the feeling of excitement and that's it.

we don't appreciate the present time properly. we don't do all that we want to do. we cut ourselves short.
i say we, because i mean me, along with most of everyone else in this world.

too many feelings for such a tiny girl.. i don't know if i can handle it all. i feel priviledged but at the same time, i don't think i'm the right one

the past is more interesting than the present, let's make the present more interesting than the past.

i think sometimes being in sad mood is beneficial. so that we can see and feel something different than what we've been used to. so that we don't get too lazy and comfortable with one thing.
because life's not all about fun. life's not all about the obvious. it's about seeing and finding your own treasures, that aren't treasures to anyone else.
the little things.
i think the little things will always be the answer to everything.