DADADANANDADADARHADDANANADA.
danadandadadarara
dadadadadadadadadadada
sound of music

There's a lot of little things that bother me and I've finally realized what it all boils down to -

I'm stuck in time. I want to be free from the adolescent stage

I have noticed my brother has recently become free. Frankly, I'm a little jealous
I kinda long to be in my 20s

But my first choice without a doubt would be to go back to the 1990's, but that's a wish that seems like it could take a bit more time to grant

i wanna find someone who can see right through me
i have yet to find him.
I need you though, where are you?

i want to be able to say 'where have you been all my life' to him

it's sad to say that i'm in love with someone who i haven't met yet. yeah it might be sad, it might be that, but atleast its also the truth.

i dont know how its possible to feel so many feelings in a short period of time.
i have felt a new feeling today.

and i think its amazing how much you can feel when you have nothing to do.
and its sad to have other things distract and therefore prevent you from seeing it
and even though they make you feel good for that time, it's not real,. because in the end what you had underneath, is what you were all along
and if you dont see yourself in that light, in my opinion all the living you had done, had been for nothing.


i think the words 'exchange student' are taken too literally.
we're not just students of school. we're students of life.
and we can't just be kept in one area.
it ruins us.
it's like clipping a birds wings and keeping it in a cage. i'm sure it would have lived longer outdoors.

things are far too clear now. it's more obvious than the obvious. and it was there all along.
we limit ourselves too much. we take the least, when we should really have the most.

saturday surprise

today i'm gonna prepare some mean beef burritos for my fake family. and some guacamole.

Hope they enjoy them!
: )

and if it comes out tasting like feet, i'll eat it anyway

im kinda excited for the outcome.

because you're always in the right places.

i've been gone to thinking, past thinking, now feeling. feeling scared. but alright.

feeling is better than thinking
thinking ruins your actions. feelings are pure, before they get transferred as thoughts

maybe innocence and naivete is better after all.
maybe that's why babies always smile at me. they can feel how much i admire them, how much i might be like them
in the victorian age the child was considered to be the ideal figure, ..the second i heard this in english class, this eery feeling instantly swept my mind.. like as if i shouldve lived in that period instead of this one


erase and rewind because i've been changing my mind............um mm umm mm





i think i like the past better than the present. i love old songs, memories, feelings, people
but i want to like the present better than the past.

i just saw the best vision ever, ... it was like a dream, except i was awake
and my favorite part of the day

and my favorite time of the night


music can make you do anything
it's unbelievable

you can't have a cake and eat it too

i'm starting to get it right. little bit by little bit.
I don't have much patience, but that doesn't mean i can't gain more.
i gotta give it timee, give it a try.

i'm starting to get back there again. i can't just start, i gotta get there all the way. i need to. I need to get back there
i know it'll be lilac and pastel by the end
and i won't want to ever let that go. but by the end you always have to let something go.
and it's usually the something you just got, that you never had, and always wanted.

late thoughts for the brain, are like prunes for the stomach

I should be going to bed. i should i should.
i don't want to. the anticipation of day, and the lengthing of the night, is like a brink of life to what's beyond that. It's exciting, its a little tiring, but its clear. And amongst all the tired muscles in your face, tired bones in your body, you're mind is awake. It seems like all your thoughts that have been stirring inside, can finally come out where it belongs. no more hiding. It's here, it's now, its pure, its what we're made of.
It's the truth. And it feels good. I don't wanna leave this state. Not just yet. i don't wanna go to bed

"Because i see sunlight in your eyes"
sometimes as i hear some tune, i feel a little choke in my throat, as if im holding back tears of some kind, not of grief, but some new sort of wonderful emotion. happiness mixed in with bits and tidbits of enlightment and surprise. maybe it is love.
and then the memory follows, as quick as my body reacted, as quick as that little drum beat, that little melody that you feel you know so well comes into play
but what if the same thing occurs but with a tune i have never heard before? and what if the memory never comes? its strange, but yet i find myself still smiling, tears rolling down my cheeks, swamped in my own over sensitivity, possibly. but maybe its something beyond sensitivity. it's something that's meant to be, that will make me see, something i had not seen before
one day i'll understand

for now its beautiful , and i dont want the rush to ever leave