the little mini sharks are eating away at the pit of my stomach

im watching dear john.
romantic movies make no sense without you; they make me ache.
i wish you were near.
i wish you were here.
only 5 more days
until i can clearly see,
because you'll be right next to me,
and then i can fall asleep.
in your arms, under your charms.

maybe i should have rented something else. this makes me miss you even more.
my heart is sore.

i discovered joshua radin plays in this movie. . . . a coincidence?

hi

like grains of white rice,

i'm stuck on you.

you give me vitality.

"you touch my inner smile"

i like your brown eyes

your chubby cheeks

i like you without any tweaks.

i like you with your flaws

if you were a dog,

i'd like your multi-colored paws

you're so damn cute

you'd look good in anything,

not just a suit.

because all i see is your soul

for me it defines you as a whole

and love, even though we may be far,

when i come home, you'll see

that i'll like you just the way you are

and that's the way the cookie crumbles

we're leaving soon.

finally it's happening. in a week hopefully

you didn't write me yesterday. I feel really empty without your words.

i feel like i need them . they give me energy. i don't know if that's such a good sign. probably not.

but i just hope you write me tonight.

it sad that a few lines of writing can make me as happy as they do. but they do.

keep it loose, keep it tight

thankyou for that song

it made me realize that sometimes we forget who we are, and sometimes we forget to appreciate what we have.

it made me realize that i've forgotten to appreciate what i have. i need to love everybody more. i'm not giving them enough. they deserve more.

but that's only because i've forgotten who i am. but i'm slowly becoming me again. you'll see.

you're so wonderful. you make me want to live. really live.

mango peels

dear blog,

my room smells like mango. i don't care. i like mango.
guess what i just saw on letterman. two or 3 men dumped a barrel with a bunch of bouncy balls over the roof and an explosion of colors was created like none i had ever seen before. except in rainbows. i wish i could have been there.

i want colorful bouncy balls to explode all over me.

love,erica

i'm vulnerable, i'm vulnerable, i am not a robot.

i'd rather be with you

say you want the same thing too

living in a dream. walking in between. the sunrise. the sunset.

we are always living in the twilight.

lyrics, oh what you do to me.

you give me emptiness, yet i absorb you like a sponge.

i could listen to music all day. i did yesterday. i feel like i should leave, go somewhere, move, stretch my legs, do something other than what i've been doing for the past few days. but no. i cannot. they won't let me. the thoughts swirling in my head, the feelings tugging at my stomach.

i'm a wreck. it almost feels as though curing my wounded heart is making it worse. but i know that it will be whole again.

i miss you all the time.

even when i talk to you. i just want you to be there with you. so you can hug me, hold me and never let me go.. and so i can rest forever on your shoulder. i think i would i like that.

the closest i feel to home is when i'm talking to you. i don't know what i'll do when your gone. and that scares me. maybe i shouldn't be falling, but i can't help what your doing to me.

i can't help but feel this way.

it's indescribable, but i'll try my best to put myself up to the test.

i'm eating it all up, it's a blueberry muffin

with every breath, i'm taking it all in

my feet are cold, and my heart is throbbing

with every lyric heard, i find myself almost sobbing

but tears of joy, tears of hope, tears of wonder, they are

i no longer feel dense,

instead i feel free.

when i'm with you, it all makes sense

with every word, you put life back into my body,

i feel like you could be the one to save me.

save me from all the rest.

i may no longer know what's real or fake

but i'd rather be here than be awake.

black sheep on sesame street.

internet went and came, it will probably soon be gone again,

for the last few days there has been a thunderstorm a brewing

but i'm here on my bed with the freshly covered in the scent of soap. Pure mexican bath water is drenching my hair; the jet black cylindrical filaments are braided messily to the side.

The pit of my stomach is erking me again. it's uncomfortable; follows me everywhere.

i can't control it; well maybe i can. i just need to take those gotitas de flor, that the kind young doctor gave me and i should be okay.

i should be okay. i hope to be better than okay. i just need to take the first step., but i'm scared.

i've always been a scaredy cat, always been afraid of every little thing, even of the black sheep on sesame street. sounds racist, but don't take it the wrong way.

take it in the way that i shouldn't be scared of such an innocent sheep, that the sheep was actually really kind and i never gave it a chance. i never gave any thing a chance, when everything in front of me was good all along. and that's where my problem started, and has haunted me until this day.

even though i'm in the victim in this scenario, i'm also the bad guy. or bad girl. however you'd say it.

but i just don't know how to go from here. not in this same situation. it's just the same thing over and over again. the doctor tells me the same. a little of what he says helps me but most of it does not. but i guess you have to do a lot in order to get a little. maybe i should learn to learn that.

(Half and hour later):

i just had my gotitas, and they were yummy. and my sandwhich was yummy and i danced, and the bad feeling is gone. almost. because your words came into my head as loud as the brightest red i've ever seen