if the world stopped spinning would you notice

IM SO ANGRY

I DONT KNOW WHY
I Just really really feel like i want to pinch the whole world to wake up from this day dream

I may be dreaming all day, but atleast its about the truth. Everyone else fucking lives in a dream of pretend.. a bad one a nightmare that they can't wake up from.

We need to wake them up because while they've been sleeping, the fires been getting hotter, and suddenly hell doesn't seem like such a bad thing anymore to go
When our poor beautiful world has turned upsidedown with no one looking up to the stars
no one looking out in a different direction
everyone the same
everyone following
befriending the unknown but never knowing more than a name, more than looks

I just wish people would just show me what they want me to see, Show me what i cannot show them right away
go past their fear and try something out of the blue out of the ordinary, something short.. something ugly, something unimportant, anything, as long as its from heart
i'll take it

I wish i could show people what i want them to see, and i would. but would they listen?
no. not even my close close friends listen entirely to what i have to say
they get tired
and i of them sometimes

people have forgotten how to feel
knowledge has taken it up taken over their heads .. they have forgotten how good it feels to feel something completely, not just a taste of it
they have forgotten to let go of being scared
i'm scared., but atleast i haven't forgotten. i am just starting to completely realize this whole thing for the first time
but for the people that have forgotten, it might as well be considered a sin. at least it is in my book. to withhold society of the pure beauty within themselves? to withhold them of what you think will only break them? just because of you? you gotta think past yourself sometimes. even if you don't know exactly why or what you're doing it for.
and perhaps there are some people that haven't realized it yet, like i hadn't before, but they will in short time. i want them to.. and when they do, maybe they'll feel the same apprehension, the same anxiety building up in their blood in their throat, the same pollution of thoughts streaming and fogging up their head causing it to explode like i do now...
because.. because they feel they cannot do anything
nothing to help
but want to so much with every beat every pulse of their heart squeezed up like a huge amount of something inside themselves

i want to help i want to do something i want to get what i came for to get what i live for, to get what i deserve
we all deserve something. something more than what we're getting.

DADADANANDADADARHADDANANADA.
danadandadadarara
dadadadadadadadadadada
sound of music

There's a lot of little things that bother me and I've finally realized what it all boils down to -

I'm stuck in time. I want to be free from the adolescent stage

I have noticed my brother has recently become free. Frankly, I'm a little jealous
I kinda long to be in my 20s

But my first choice without a doubt would be to go back to the 1990's, but that's a wish that seems like it could take a bit more time to grant

i wanna find someone who can see right through me
i have yet to find him.
I need you though, where are you?

i want to be able to say 'where have you been all my life' to him

it's sad to say that i'm in love with someone who i haven't met yet. yeah it might be sad, it might be that, but atleast its also the truth.

i dont know how its possible to feel so many feelings in a short period of time.
i have felt a new feeling today.

and i think its amazing how much you can feel when you have nothing to do.
and its sad to have other things distract and therefore prevent you from seeing it
and even though they make you feel good for that time, it's not real,. because in the end what you had underneath, is what you were all along
and if you dont see yourself in that light, in my opinion all the living you had done, had been for nothing.


i think the words 'exchange student' are taken too literally.
we're not just students of school. we're students of life.
and we can't just be kept in one area.
it ruins us.
it's like clipping a birds wings and keeping it in a cage. i'm sure it would have lived longer outdoors.

things are far too clear now. it's more obvious than the obvious. and it was there all along.
we limit ourselves too much. we take the least, when we should really have the most.

saturday surprise

today i'm gonna prepare some mean beef burritos for my fake family. and some guacamole.

Hope they enjoy them!
: )

and if it comes out tasting like feet, i'll eat it anyway

im kinda excited for the outcome.

because you're always in the right places.

i've been gone to thinking, past thinking, now feeling. feeling scared. but alright.

feeling is better than thinking
thinking ruins your actions. feelings are pure, before they get transferred as thoughts

maybe innocence and naivete is better after all.
maybe that's why babies always smile at me. they can feel how much i admire them, how much i might be like them
in the victorian age the child was considered to be the ideal figure, ..the second i heard this in english class, this eery feeling instantly swept my mind.. like as if i shouldve lived in that period instead of this one


erase and rewind because i've been changing my mind............um mm umm mm





i think i like the past better than the present. i love old songs, memories, feelings, people
but i want to like the present better than the past.

i just saw the best vision ever, ... it was like a dream, except i was awake
and my favorite part of the day

and my favorite time of the night


music can make you do anything
it's unbelievable